Monday, April 25, 2011

Waiting for this day to arrive

Is this my first post unrelated to work? I think it just may be. So this is what growing up feels like...

The seasons change and so do we. I've come to this realization recently, I've changed and will change, and I pray to God I'll change some more after that, again and again. I've come to another realization known as- things I want out of life. And lastly, I've realized rubber boots may be the most comfortable shoe choice available. That truly was a life altering concept.

If you asked me when I was 16 what I had hoped for in life by the time I was 25 I think I would've answered something along the lines of, "well, I hope I'll be married after I graduate college or sometime during, I hope I'll be mid med school for pathology so I can help people by better understanding disease and death, I hope I'm involved in a church and have gotten to travel some." If you would've asked me when I was 21 (which is how old I was when I graduated college) I think it would've gone something like this, "I hope that I will have met the person I'm going to marry and am dating them with marriage in the near future, I hope I'm working for an organization I believe in and enjoy showing up to day after day, I hope that my trust in the Lord has been fulfilled because right now I can't understand why I can go on to live another day and others don't, and I hope that at 25 I have maintained all the important relationships in my life that are with me right now."

I turn 25 in less than a month.
 If you were to ask me right now, here is what I'd have to say. I hope that I daily continue to rely on the Lord for strength and wisdom, I hope that I meet a person I want to marry that opens up the doorway of better understanding God's love for me, and I hope that in the future I can have kids so that I can truly understand the sacrifice of the cross, the pain and anguish a parent must've felt allowing His own son to die. I hope that I understand what my strengths are enough to help people, and that I am humble enough to allow my weakness' to also help others. I hope that I continue to have a curious mind that reads and learns and shares. I hope I can eat healthy, to stay healthy. And I hope I never get blinded by material or monetary things, because I'll be honest, sometimes I like shiny things. And most of all, I am thankful. I have learned to not only pray, keep faith and grow but to be thankful, and my hope is that I grow more thankful for the good and for the bad.

It's refreshing to know I've changed. It's also refreshing to know the amount of things I want in this life have shrunk as every year passes. The world has told me that as I get older my aspirations should get more specific and defined, much like my 16 year old dreams of marrying Superman and being a kick-A scientist. Wow, writing that out has also helped me realize the truth in how nerdy I truly was and am. However, my current goals have taken a turn in the opposite direction and decided to broaden up their horizens and have no specific boundaries. There is one focal point from which everything stems, so I guess you could say I only have one aspiration in life now- to glorify God in all that I do, to show my thankfulness for the grace so willingly bestowed upon me and the great part is- there's no one specific direction with navigation signals that I have to take. I don't have to be my 16 year old self, my 21 year old self (which, lets me honest, was a teardrop away from an emotional breakdown) or even my current 24 year self. I just have to be the best me today.

Things I've recently bought and/or done which in turn solidify my nerdness-
  • Bought Window Markers
  • Bought a book about toxic fat
  • Bought a book about a guy who decided to become homeless
  • Acoustic CD's...yeah, a bought physical CD's
  • Wore green rubber boots for a large portion of Easter, willfully.
  • Asked for Scattegories and Scrabble
  • Watched Kyle XY, a very badly made show.
  • Wished that Jake from 16 Candles was real and would awkwardly come knock on my front door.
  • Wished there was a 25 Candles, so that there could be a more realistic my aged Jake that could then come awkwardly knock on my front door with a birthday hun cal fro yo. So hey, if you own a letterman jacket, have enough money for a frozen yogurt from love love teriyaki and know where I live, my Birthday is May 16th, I like the nonfat plain yogurt with fresh fruit and bad 80's movies.