The seasons change and so do we. I've come to this realization recently, I've changed and will change, and I pray to God I'll change some more after that, again and again. I've come to another realization known as- things I want out of life. And lastly, I've realized rubber boots may be the most comfortable shoe choice available. That truly was a life altering concept.
If you asked me when I was 16 what I had hoped for in life by the time I was 25 I think I would've answered something along the lines of, "well, I hope I'll be married after I graduate college or sometime during, I hope I'll be mid med school for pathology so I can help people by better understanding disease and death, I hope I'm involved in a church and have gotten to travel some." If you would've asked me when I was 21 (which is how old I was when I graduated college) I think it would've gone something like this, "I hope that I will have met the person I'm going to marry and am dating them with marriage in the near future, I hope I'm working for an organization I believe in and enjoy showing up to day after day, I hope that my trust in the Lord has been fulfilled because right now I can't understand why I can go on to live another day and others don't, and I hope that at 25 I have maintained all the important relationships in my life that are with me right now."
I turn 25 in less than a month.
If you were to ask me right now, here is what I'd have to say. I hope that I daily continue to rely on the Lord for strength and wisdom, I hope that I meet a person I want to marry that opens up the doorway of better understanding God's love for me, and I hope that in the future I can have kids so that I can truly understand the sacrifice of the cross, the pain and anguish a parent must've felt allowing His own son to die. I hope that I understand what my strengths are enough to help people, and that I am humble enough to allow my weakness' to also help others. I hope that I continue to have a curious mind that reads and learns and shares. I hope I can eat healthy, to stay healthy. And I hope I never get blinded by material or monetary things, because I'll be honest, sometimes I like shiny things. And most of all, I am thankful. I have learned to not only pray, keep faith and grow but to be thankful, and my hope is that I grow more thankful for the good and for the bad.
It's refreshing to know I've changed. It's also refreshing to know the amount of things I want in this life have shrunk as every year passes. The world has told me that as I get older my aspirations should get more specific and defined, much like my 16 year old dreams of marrying Superman and being a kick-A scientist. Wow, writing that out has also helped me realize the truth in how nerdy I truly was and am. However, my current goals have taken a turn in the opposite direction and decided to broaden up their horizens and have no specific boundaries. There is one focal point from which everything stems, so I guess you could say I only have one aspiration in life now- to glorify God in all that I do, to show my thankfulness for the grace so willingly bestowed upon me and the great part is- there's no one specific direction with navigation signals that I have to take. I don't have to be my 16 year old self, my 21 year old self (which, lets me honest, was a teardrop away from an emotional breakdown) or even my current 24 year self. I just have to be the best me today.
Things I've recently bought and/or done which in turn solidify my nerdness-
- Bought Window Markers
- Bought a book about toxic fat
- Bought a book about a guy who decided to become homeless
- Acoustic CD's...yeah, a bought physical CD's
- Wore green rubber boots for a large portion of Easter, willfully.
- Asked for Scattegories and Scrabble
- Watched Kyle XY, a very badly made show.
- Wished that Jake from 16 Candles was real and would awkwardly come knock on my front door.
- Wished there was a 25 Candles, so that there could be a more realistic my aged Jake that could then come awkwardly knock on my front door with a birthday hun cal fro yo. So hey, if you own a letterman jacket, have enough money for a frozen yogurt from love love teriyaki and know where I live, my Birthday is May 16th, I like the nonfat plain yogurt with fresh fruit and bad 80's movies.
