Thursday, October 21, 2010

Oct. 21st

Tomorrow, I come home.
This deserves a line of its own.

I have officially caught a cold. Started coming on Tuesday, hit harder last night, and today I woke up with a full fledged cold, the kind that even hurts your teeth because its messed with the sinus'. Hopefully I can get rid of this thing by the time I come home tomororw because this weekend is jam packed busy. And last time I flew back into the Portland airport with a cold from Boise I had an intense pain and water squirt out of my eyeball. Gross right. I asked around a bit after that happened and no one else had ever said they'd heard of something like that, it was the oddest thing. Facinating though.

The youth group visit went really well last night. I wish I would've had more energy then I had, but you work with what you've got and give it your best go, all we can really do I suppose. I love Idaho....they are awesome. That is a broad statement to liking all of what Idaho has to offer, but its almost completely true. Tonight I have the National Christian College Fair to attend, lets pray I don't lose my voice as its been wavering all day on the brink of leaving me.

Sometimes, as a white, middle class, woman in her 20's I feel as though I have no voice. I was just watching a commercial, addressing financial issues for a specific race, I've never seen it issued to a specific demographic known as the student who wants to go to college, regardless of race. Student doesn't specify race, it specifies future. It may be very possible that because I am white, or because I grew up in a home with two parents working to support their family, or because I decided to take out loans on my own accord to attend college and get myself an education and now have debt to pay off without government support, perhaps because I worked hard in high school to get good grades and made a decision to do choir, volleyball, have a job in high school, leadership, year book; perhaps these past experiences have blinded me to prejudices. But then again, maybe I have no voice and therefore have no right to know what a prejudice is. You know when I applied for scholarships to college in high school I fell in the middle gap, I didn't have a 4.0 standing but I also had no specific racial background, my parents weren't on welfare but if we didn't work we would've been, so there wasn't all that much I could be given. This might be a bit of a vent, and crossing so many political correct stipulations, but I have a voice.

I fully believe in helping the poor, giving money and resources to the less fortunate (regardless of the race the individual may be), I think it's awesome that tribes give Indian students money, or some countries will provide students with money for an education if they work hard enough. I dislike the separation of the classes, and don't see more worth in someone who produces a vast income then a person who makes just enough money to get by. But then I don't really undersand why myself and others in my position don't always receive the help they need- I work hard and I make very little, I do what I am able to do for those who have less and I admit I could most assuredly do a lot more, I pay for health insurance and car insurance, I try to keep myself healthy so hopefully I don't have to pay an arm and a leg for using this said health insurance. And the worst part is I know that I am not even close to the worse off, not even a little bit close. The middle class in general are so overlooked in society because the rich make money off the poor, and at the very least when they take an economic hit they have money to fall back on and perhaps might cut out some extra luxuries. The poor, well they have it rough, but they at least get some government help, free health care, food stamps, grants and resources to help life. For those working hard I say give them everything we've got to give, help the poor who truly are working to make a better life for themselves, help them get to this middle class level and security. However...the middle class is a quickly changing demographic as the economy goes downhill, health care goes up, insurance goes up, it is continually splitting into opposite ends of the spectrum. To the poor for the majority, and some maybe getting a lucky break, to the rich.

I don't really know where i'm going with this and had no specific point to make. Sorry for the ranting. But not sorry I have a voice. I think i need a nap, my head hurts even more than before. But the fair tonight, one school tomorrow and home I come. :o)

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

October 19th...I'm 95% positive

Today was a great day with an early start. Had to be in Ontatio by 8:30am, so need to leave Boise by 7:20 or so. It's oddly unsettling leaving when the sun hasn't come up yet, I had to check the clock like three times just in case I woke up, showered and got ready when it was really only 3am. But in fact, was the correct time. It's unsettling at first that is, but then it is kind of nice to watch the sunrise and get the day going early. I guess I do enjoy morning, however, I still refuse to claim the term early bird.

After my visits today I got lettuce wraps to go from PF Changs, I would've stayed but I didn't have any quarters and only had 15 minutes left on my meter.

I think Kramer came out with the first skinny jeans in an episode of Seinfield. I assume the current generation also has as hard of a time getting out of a pair of painted on pants, I have not succumbed to a pair of skinny jeans yet, well I do have skinny black pants so I guess I'm half way there.

After eating my delicious lettuce wraps I went for a walk along the green belt next to the river. It's beautiful outside, just the perfect temperature with a slight breeze. Anyway, I walked along and the this thought kept going through my mind "Lord, what will you have me do?" This question is on mind everyday, but it really creeps into the forefront of my thoughts when I take the time to quiet myself and my surroundings. And I sit here and wonder this, "Lord, what will you have me do?" I am ready, I am willing and I am able, but Lord, what will you have me do?
I took a little while to walk down some rocks and sit and watch the river. Were there spider webs everywhere and did I get momentarily distracted with having to look in fallen tree limps and cut of trunks....I can't lie to you, why yes I did. But after that brief distraction I stood by the waters edge and watched it, and something came to mind. Water is mesmorizing, it calms an active mind, and its absolutely beautiful. More beautiful than an attractive man with facial hair, and you all know how beautiful I find them. Okay, perhaps, its just a different kind of beauty, on a whole other level. I realized what makes it so beautiful though, crazy that I've literally never realized what it was that makes it on this whole new level of beauty. It's the reflection. Bodies of water take the battered, broken fragmented life surrounding it and reflect it back to the world as this pure, peaceful and whole image. It is the reflection of the world around it that make is so beautiful.
Not to get to deep here, but it did make me wonder what I reflect to the world. I can only pray that I reflect the love of Christ, and as a broken, fragmented and ruptured individual the beauty of Christ shines through me to the world as a complete and peaceful image. Completed by the Father, and not of my own accord. The river can not be beautiful on its own, it needs the world around it to be broken, and it needs the ability to restore that beaten picture.

I would say it was a great walk, even though I did get blisters on the back of my heels.

Glee tonight. Perhaps its not healthy for one show to make someone so excited. When I come home I won't have tv or internet anymore, what is a girl going to do. I'm going to have to start dating someone with tv  just so I can watch it, the relationship secondary to the access to cable. Just kidding, mostly.

Monday, October 18, 2010

OMG. And Not in the Fun Usher Way

At this very moment I am so bored that I can literally hear myself losing my intelligence and gaining weight all at the same time. Apparently being home for almost a week showed me once again what normal life is like and now I don't know how to handle modern boredom. One can only stalk and search facebook for so long, and really the majority of the news fall into three categories- engaged, just got married, having/had baby. All of which I'm so glad to stalk, but it doesn't exactly help with the restlessness I currently feel, it actually exacerbates it and points out the singleness I find myself in, both in Idaho and in Salem.

The people above me are stomping grapes. The least they could do is bring me down some wine to take the edge off of their intrusive stomping.

I sound like I'm in a terrible mood, I actually am not at all. Just incredibly restless. I'm tired of watching TV, reading, killing time online....but find myself with not many other choices. I'd go walk the river, but being a young single woman Murder She Wrote, Matlock, CSI and other such shows have taught me this is a very bad choice. I'd go into downtown Boise but stores are closed and bars are open, not really my forte. Let me ponder what else....still haven't found the exercise room, but then again I haven't taken too much time to explore as it takes double the time to walk the hall what with the smell I have to forge through, that thick. So I sit here with The Closer on and write yet again another blog posting. Never really seen this show, its not too shabby.

The rest of this week should be pretty busy. Youth group Wednesday (third year visiting it), College fair Thursday and fly home Friday. Woohoo! I think tomorrow I'll take the time to go into town and walk around the shops and eat at PF Changs, get me some lettuce wraps. And then of course I reserve the hour of Glee whenever possible, and thankfully this week nothing was needing to be scheduled. It is like the one thing I look forward to when I'm on the road. However, it is a minute joy for the week, the real joy comes Friday when I get to come home, celebrate Birthdays with the family and get to go to church Sunday. That totally reminded me of the song "but the real joy comes in the morning." So I sit here completely and utterly bored out of my mind, and completely and utterly so thankful for the life that I live. Bless beyond belief. A thankfulness for family and friends that words cannot fathom, they can't even attempt to articulate the meaning behind those feelings.

I, with my all my heart, despise Old Navy commercials.

Boise.Meridian.Eagle.Nampa.Caldwell.Ontario.Garden City.

This entire week is based out of Boise, ID. One of my all time favorite cities in the US. I get a lot of funny looks when I say that, but come over here and check it out and you'll see what I mean. It's sunny but chilly- the perfect fall mix, surrounded by mountains and rivers, downtown is full of boutiques, coffee shops, eccletic food and there aren't all that many people that live here- hear not that much traffic and friendly faces.
After three back to back visits today I went to Target to buy some gifts for the counselors I visit, I made the cutest little striped paper chocolate gift baggies with cupcake stickers to hold the folds down. Trust me, adorable. I felt very Martha Stewartish. Scratch that, I feel very Martha Stewartish.

So I may have finally settled on a new church home. I'm still not one hundred percent positive, but I really enjoyed this last week's sermon. I still want to try Court Street Christian, because I've heard so many wonderful things but I do like Salem Alliance. I came back this past weekend after trying it awhile ago, kind of made my circle through the Salem churches and back here I settled. I felt it a good omen when they showed a slide on the big screen for a "newcomers" night, because I so badly want to be plugged and rooted in a church for the long hall. I crave that in fact. In a women's group, in a 20's/30's group and working in the nursery. These are the things I'm looking for at this particular time in my life. Well, looking for in a church that is.There are a few other things I could think of that I'm also seeking, or waiting for is maybe a better verb.

I wish I would've brought headphones and my iPod to Idaho because my hotel is perched right next to the river. I plan on walking it to get some fresh air, a little exercise (because finding the work out room here at the hotel is like finding a needle in a nicotine ridden haystack) and it is just nice to walk and contemplate life while out in nature. Gosh, if I could also do another activity today I would love to do some painting right now. I've got a jonesin' for some crafts and arts time.

Watching NCIS while I type this. Direct quote from the show "blog...whats a blog?" "You know, a blog. Something losers write online to let everyone know what they're thinking."
Great. I just got put down by a TV show. Not even a main character on the show, a one time visitor with all of two lines.

You know the satisfactory feeling of cleaning. Perhaps, I stand in a minority group here, the group that loves to clean, loves having things clean, and loves coming home to clean things. However, before i left this Sunday I took the time to clean, and then clean some more. My room is vacuumed, bed is made, clothes are washed and in full color coordination, downstairs bathroom has been scrubbed from top to bottom, kitchen dishes are done, floors are swept and mopped, garbages are emptied...ahh....its even cathartic to discuss it.

Have you ever thought about what character you would like to play in a movie or book? Growing up of course I had a fondness for Jo from Little Women- because she was bold, did what was right, helped the poor, talked funny when reciting plays. Belle from Beauty and the Beast was probably even more, cartoon character or not she is cool- spent a lot of time in libraries and magical castles, wore blue, had imperfect hair with a strang always falling in her face, ended up with a big dude with sweet facial hair and got to talk to inanimate objects all the time. Awesome life. Or Nancy Drew-solving mysteries with George and Bess, being pursued by Ned Nickerson- all American football stud muffin...So apparently my childhood dreams consisted of big hairy men, bold/intelligent/Daddy's girl women, castles and well structured dresses. You know, I think I'm still okay with that come to think of it.

Sometimes when I drive I pretend to be a race car driver, not to the extent of making obnoxious engine noises but to the extent of in my head making wild turns and over exaggerating my arms when I turn. This of course, only when I'm alone.

I think I'm still recovering from this last flight. I didn't end up getting to check into my hotel until arond 11pm, and not to bed until around 1am just because I hadn't had dinner (which consisted of fruit snacks, regular sunchips and a cookie- all of which sold behind the front counter of the hotel), wanted to unpack a few items, lay my clothes out flat before major crease-age took place....these things take time. And then woke up early for my first school visit. Gosh, best flight ever though, no one sat next to me so I sprawled out in as much of a lady like manner as I could and read the entire time. It was so quick that landing actually scared me, I was not anticipating it.

Let the walking begin.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Salem, OR

So I finished off last week in Bend, sorry I didn't update very often while there...and have been home since Friday. Don't think I'm getting all comfy and settled back into normal life though, I leave again on Sunday for my final trip of the year....and it's only for six days. Woohoo! And then I'll get comfy and settled back into Salem life, and I am so excited. Like a kid in a candy shop, except I'm an adult in a yellow peacoat, sipping a warm sugarfree cinnamon dolce latte, in the comfort of my home town.

Back in the office I feel like I've had a million things to catch up on. First, I had a bunch of voicemails to listen to, they are really hard to get to work on the road- I have never wanted to believe it but I am realizing I'm a bit technology challenged. I have stacks of mail at my house, mostly sorted through as of now. Phone calls to make to accepted students. Receipts to organize, title and turn in. Tons of receipts, if there was a word to make it even more plural past the added "s," I would use it. Cards to sort, label and turn in. People to catch up with. Peacoats to be worn. Local school visits. Corvallis college fairs. Laundry, heaps of laundry. This has been my week so far. It has been wonderful too, I am loving every minute being in this town, no matter what I'm doing. Crisp fall mornings, they make everything better in the world.

I went to my old high school today and it was amazing to see so many teachers and get a chance to talk to some of them. I've been back there a few times, in fact I even went for this job last year, but this visit for whatever reason was when tons of teachers were available and out and about. I ran into so many of the amazing teachers there, reminds me how I want to get into a school someday and make a difference how they do for so many students. Plus, its a beautiful building, I just love it there.

I should probably get going and get some more office work done. Next week comes more stories from the road, and I'll be sure to update more often than Bend. Heather...that is specifically for you. :o)

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Oct. 5th

Have I ever confessed that one of my favorite things about school visits is the visitor sticker I so proudly get to wear. I even get a little disappointed when they don't make me wear one, my favorite are the ones that actually state what school it is. It's amazing how wonderful life can be when simple things bring such joy. Some might choose the word sad, I say joy.

So today I continued my task of finding a grey dress the upcoming wedding. This story both consists of 1-my search of the day and 2-finding a perfect dress online within like 10 minutes back at the hotel. So 1- finding the dress. I went down to the outdoor mall in the Old Mill district today and one of the stores I went into, Mo Mo I think it as called, an asian lady was working....I'm going to guess she owns the place because a little asian baby was sitting on a chair watching a computer screen in the middle of the store. Any who, she asks me if I'm looking for anything in particular and so I tell her "why yes, a grey dress." So she shows me that there are two grey dresses in the store. She holds one up, and goes "I don't think this would fit you. What size are you." I will preface this that the dress she held up was cinched into a 5 inch width and when held up to my body barely covered my torso. The real wild part of the story, however, is that as she asked me what size I am she was sticking her hands into my cardigan and putting her hands around my rib cage What! After, she wanted me to try the dress on, yeah, apparently after groping my ribs she thought I might be able to squeeze into the skanky little dress. I politely declined, as when I walk into a room I'd like my virtue to remain intact. 2- Upon returning back to my hotel room, getting online and hitting up j crew, I found a adorable grey dress on sale for under $100. Done and done.

I have had this odd feeling of wanting to nest and decorate. Today I bought a set of nicer towels for the downstairs bathroom. I also bought an adorable candle holder from World Market, a glass capped pitcher for my favorite homemade salad dressing (dressing courtesy of the Miller cousins) and a spatula because we only have one.....now two.You know what this means- I can mix with both hands at the same time.
I really want a throw pillow.

I feel like I've produced a double chin over the course of this travel season. Can't wait to get back to the courthouse gym and start working out consistently again. This d.c. will be gone like the wind. Speaking of d.c., I once had a coffee drink named after me at North Salem in their Coffee Shack. That's right folks...basically famous, I had a drink named after me called the Iced D.C. It stood for Donica.Casey, our drink of choice from the before mentioned coffee shop. It was also, at the same time my aunt had moved to Washington D.C., and everyone teased me that they were sure sorry to see my mother move across the country (according to the family we resemble each other quite a bit both in appearance and expressiveness). You be the judge.
Thanks for allowing me this narcissistic story, as I had an asian lady judge me for not purchasing her prostitute outfit. A little self indulgence memory reliving wipes that slate clean.

If I ever accept an award for anything, please do not allow me to do a twirl on stage.

I've decided I want to get my gun handlers license. Or permit. I suppose in order to do this I should learn some proper terminology, but with that said, I want to know how to handle a gun. To have confidence in myself to respect and use a gun correctly, because truth be told I assume at this point in life I would either have it easily taken away from me, shoot my own foot in nervousness or point a gun at a bad person and never realize it's on safety the entire time. We all know its true, I can't deny it.

Monday, October 4, 2010

October...4th

First and foremost, happy birthday to my wonderful little sister today! woohoo, you are officially 12 years old! Enjoy the age, its a good one. :o)

After this week is over I will have only slept in my own bed for one night in the past month....you read that right, one night in a month. Now before you go getting any ideas, those other 29 nights have been in hotel rooms with the company of my mother or my book. This week I find myself in Bend, OR. I started this morning before it was even light outside and drove to Madras. It was beautiful outside, the sun coming up and shining beyond Smith Rock, and later down the road a perfect view of Sisters Mountains and...Five Fingered Jack. Maybe its another number because all hands have five fingers so that confuses me why it would be a distictive feature to a mountain top.

"Looks like tarzan and plays like Jane." Hilarious quote from that new football movie that I'm currently watching and completely unaware of the name of. And thus also displaying how easily distracted I am.

Coming home for a day was rejuvenating. Got to see wonderful friends and family, clean my clothes, and be in familar areas for almost two days.  I so look forward to my week home next week. Ohmygoodness, I want to go watch some football so badly, I miss those days of games every week! But you won't catch me watching it on tv, now if I knew the personalities and names of the players that would totally change it.

I totally had things I wanted to say but I've forgotten them all. I'm excited to go to North Salem next week, it always brings back so many memories walking those halls. And so many faces I'm happy to see and catch up with. Although, when I was there is was a completely different place than it is today I'm sure. It makes me wonder where it'll be in another 6 years.

Since I have nothing to really say, I'm out for now.