Why Singleness is Like Sports Try-Outs

The realization that being single in your 20's and beyond is much like continually trying out for a sport, or a team, occurred to me today while curling my eye lashes and faithfully bronzing my cheekbones to highlight my better features. This thought has no spiritual significance, it's just a thought.

There are the try-out goers and the wanna-be players, the game wear, the fans, the team, and the coveted position as the starters on the team. Yes, all of this relates to being single.

 As a single we wake up, go about our daily business, we put on our best try out clothing, smile at frustrations and failures because we want to be gracious and show the world how much we want to be on the team, we put our best foot forward in every aspect in attempts to move forward. And by moving forward I do mean making the team, hopefully a starting position someday, but also that we attempt success to make up for other lacking relationships in our life, to fill the longing for the team. The wanna-be players, those trying desperatingly to be seen and heard, who walk home with cracks in their thick make up and gel droppings on the muscled shoulders of their ed hardy t-shirts, are those you see and think "did I see them on Jersey Shore last week?" Where the try-out goers are those trucking along, every day joes and janes, in a holistic sense some are beautiful and some average, but all working towards the same goal- making the team.

Try-out clothing are those go to outfits meant to highlight our best assests, or skills. They are often over priced, but it's worth it right? It's all for the sacrifice of making the team. We dawn these articles of clothing like a basketball player putting on his lucky air jordan's, they don't actually change our skill level but sure make us feel like we could be the number one draft this year. We want to present our best and hide our worst. Those that have made the team, well they get to put on their comfortable, slightly looser fitted game wear. Game wear needs to be durable, washable, stain resistent, and able to get the job done effectively. Aesthetics don't mean quite as much, although still have their role, but it's more about quality, because they've already proven their skill to make the team, now it's about keeping that position.

This brings us to the never ending fans. Everyone has them, from the wanna-be players to the starters on the team, we all bring a fan or two or five thousand. For those who are trying out for the team, whatever their skill level is, usually bring along the doting parent fan, perhaps the protective sibling fan who just wants to see them succeed. Quite often there are also the close friends who are loyal fans, encouraging the try-out goer, giving them pointers on improving their success level, and sometimes for those who are lucky, there is the extended network fan base. The church members, the friends parents, the aunts, grandma's, co-workers, friends of friends and friends of the doting parents; now these fans create that strong support system meant to elevate a try-out goer to the ability and skill level of the existing team. They talk up the player so much that often times their words alone are so persuasive that try-outs are almost pointless as they have their spot on the team in the bag. However, the latter can have a catch, and that's when a taste of success meets a rained out game. The times when extended fan bases do their job perfectly, with initial success but the hopes are dashed, the player is side lined and the rain pours. It's the putting on of the jersey, the proud sporting of the lucky number, but one never actually gets to play in the game.

There are cheap tricks to making the team too. Steroids. Those that go to extremes to make the cut, changing themselves and the perfect way God made them in order to meet a preconceived notion of what they believe the team is looking for. Flashy shows. This would be the the try-out goers that have the ability to dominate a room, conversation, attention seekers. Not always a bad thing, in fact I know many great people with this trait, but it also runs the risk of a voice proceeding actual depth, a showy display of personality without sustenance.

Making the team. After all the hard work of prepping and training, making the team is like instant gratification. A moment of bliss, unadulturated by the knowledge of what the future holds- more hard work and training. It isn't easy making the team and it's certainly not easy keeping your spot on it once you do. It's like varsity golf, you must stay within the top five lowest scores to get to play in the tournament, meaning, the work isn't over, your spot isn't safe. While you've moved over to the ability to go between try-out clothes and official team wear you're still not a starter on the team but you do belong to a team now.

If you're asking yourself, does she mean marriage is like starting on the team, then you are quite correct in your assumption. The starters get out there, they get dirty and injured, their jersey's are earning the number they are proudly stamped with. They have trained to make the team. They have trained to become a starter. And now their training is paying off in the play offs. These people, they are part of a team, and they play for the team and with the team. They may go home from a win or loss and throw on sweats and an oversized t-shirt but they secured that right when they battled together, when they started and ended the game for their team, with their team, because of their team.