Tuesday, March 5, 2013

We accept the love we think we deserve

I have a hard time turning a movie off or closing a book, even when it might be the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. Something deep within me almost needs to believe that no matter how horrible it is, there must be some redeeming quality that catapulted such a mess into creation.  This was the case with a movie I watched Friday evening while packing my life into mismatched cardboard boxes.

I got this little gem- “We accept the love we think we deserve.”

I was surprised at the depth of this statement thrown out as almost a second thought.  We accept the love we think we deserve. With each year that I tick off on some invisible calendar the necessity and desire for relationship increases. Relationship with my family. My friends. Romantically. And with God.

 I crave connection, I crave love.

It is in my opinion that I have been incredibly blessed with a family and solid friends who give me love and connection even when I don’t deserve it. When it comes to friends few of us short sale ourselves; the friendships that last and we keep around are generally relationships that have been nurtured, respected and provide a mutual gain and sense of connection. So then, why do we sell ourselves short when it comes to romantic relationships and communion with God? Why do we accept less? Why do we think we deserve less? Why do we give less? On a spectrum of “1 to fan-freakin’tasic” why do we not only accept less but expect it?

Girls will talk. The mantra is all to true, some of us do talk….a lot (or in my case, write). As my friends and I sift through these mixed stages in life we find ourselves in, we talk about relationships, dating, marriages and the whole gamete of romantic adventures presenting themselves to us. One common thread I hear over and over again “I know I deserved better,” when that little voice inside your head is screaming “Run, they are about to bring you down and treat you bad.” Then run. You deserve the best. You are beautiful and handsome. You are smart. You deserve respect. You deserve to be loved right. Accept the love you actually deserve, because you are worth it. You are worth more than every single dollar on this planet, so don't accept someone who treats you like a $50 dollar bill.

I think every relationship will have its pitfalls and difficulties. We are an imperfect people, we are selfish and needy and have a lot of growing to still do. We are wired to crave that connection with others, which can create its own set of problems; but we are also wired to crave connection with God, which fixes most of those problems.

If we deserve the very best, the love that actually is perfect, why do we push it away, or turn away from it? I think some of us have a hard time accepting God’s love because we don’t feel we deserve it. We are sinners. We live sinful lives. Why would a God that is all powerful and all-knowing want to love such a horrible mess such as ourselves…or maybe we don’t want to accept God’s love because that means we would have to expect more of ourselves. We could be nothing less but transformed and changed, and changing can be a scary thing, especially when we kind of life some aspects of our lives. But if the love from an imperfect person has the power to captivate and change us, what more could the love of someone perfect do.

We were made to accept the love that redeemed us. We were made to deserve so much more than brokenness. We were made to be fulfilled and changed. So what love is it that we accept? 

My current view....until Saturday when I move!