Oct. 21st

Tomorrow, I come home.
This deserves a line of its own.

I have officially caught a cold. Started coming on Tuesday, hit harder last night, and today I woke up with a full fledged cold, the kind that even hurts your teeth because its messed with the sinus'. Hopefully I can get rid of this thing by the time I come home tomororw because this weekend is jam packed busy. And last time I flew back into the Portland airport with a cold from Boise I had an intense pain and water squirt out of my eyeball. Gross right. I asked around a bit after that happened and no one else had ever said they'd heard of something like that, it was the oddest thing. Facinating though.

The youth group visit went really well last night. I wish I would've had more energy then I had, but you work with what you've got and give it your best go, all we can really do I suppose. I love Idaho....they are awesome. That is a broad statement to liking all of what Idaho has to offer, but its almost completely true. Tonight I have the National Christian College Fair to attend, lets pray I don't lose my voice as its been wavering all day on the brink of leaving me.

Sometimes, as a white, middle class, woman in her 20's I feel as though I have no voice. I was just watching a commercial, addressing financial issues for a specific race, I've never seen it issued to a specific demographic known as the student who wants to go to college, regardless of race. Student doesn't specify race, it specifies future. It may be very possible that because I am white, or because I grew up in a home with two parents working to support their family, or because I decided to take out loans on my own accord to attend college and get myself an education and now have debt to pay off without government support, perhaps because I worked hard in high school to get good grades and made a decision to do choir, volleyball, have a job in high school, leadership, year book; perhaps these past experiences have blinded me to prejudices. But then again, maybe I have no voice and therefore have no right to know what a prejudice is. You know when I applied for scholarships to college in high school I fell in the middle gap, I didn't have a 4.0 standing but I also had no specific racial background, my parents weren't on welfare but if we didn't work we would've been, so there wasn't all that much I could be given. This might be a bit of a vent, and crossing so many political correct stipulations, but I have a voice.

I fully believe in helping the poor, giving money and resources to the less fortunate (regardless of the race the individual may be), I think it's awesome that tribes give Indian students money, or some countries will provide students with money for an education if they work hard enough. I dislike the separation of the classes, and don't see more worth in someone who produces a vast income then a person who makes just enough money to get by. But then I don't really undersand why myself and others in my position don't always receive the help they need- I work hard and I make very little, I do what I am able to do for those who have less and I admit I could most assuredly do a lot more, I pay for health insurance and car insurance, I try to keep myself healthy so hopefully I don't have to pay an arm and a leg for using this said health insurance. And the worst part is I know that I am not even close to the worse off, not even a little bit close. The middle class in general are so overlooked in society because the rich make money off the poor, and at the very least when they take an economic hit they have money to fall back on and perhaps might cut out some extra luxuries. The poor, well they have it rough, but they at least get some government help, free health care, food stamps, grants and resources to help life. For those working hard I say give them everything we've got to give, help the poor who truly are working to make a better life for themselves, help them get to this middle class level and security. However...the middle class is a quickly changing demographic as the economy goes downhill, health care goes up, insurance goes up, it is continually splitting into opposite ends of the spectrum. To the poor for the majority, and some maybe getting a lucky break, to the rich.

I don't really know where i'm going with this and had no specific point to make. Sorry for the ranting. But not sorry I have a voice. I think i need a nap, my head hurts even more than before. But the fair tonight, one school tomorrow and home I come. :o)